Fourth page II

 

Breakfast for lunch. An hour of exercise earlier. It’s been a cool Saturday so far. Now it’s time to work. And it was fine too. I’m holding a glass of wine thinking that I’m going to take a bath with my son in a few minutes. I haven’t taken it yet, I’m about to, but I haven’t though. Sunday morning. Cloudy.  It looks like it’s going to rain. I think I’ve missed a couple of details: you see, with this obsessive-compulsive habit of scrolling the phone screen – because we just can’t (and don’t want to) stop doing it – it is very common for anyone to fall onto a monothematic stage, to a point of self limitation,  which is actually moved by the trends of social media. We don’t choose our topics, we remain inside a loop that keeps us repeating the two or three variants of that subject we probably were not thinking about, and perhaps, if having something to say of it, it wouldn’t fit with the previously established variants I was referring to. In fact this very writing is a proof of that. Then, back to the never-ending topic, I wanted to add, based on my opinion, that the change of the establishment, talking about the factors of power, brought up what we’ve been calling dictatorship. Why? And here’s my guess: a left-wing-like system will always be less democratic due to its essence,  which in my understanding, goes by the increment of rules from The State, to seize more control over the nation (and by nation I mean everybody else) The democratic appearance was given by the allegedly free speech from the media,  and the size of the industrial park. The new regime changed that. They reduced the industrial park by setting up a bunch of economic measures and procedures, forcing several owners to find abroad a place to work under more suitable circumstances. They promoted a series of new laws that made payrolls simply unsustainable for the private sector. In order to keep the nation going, the government had to sponsor pretty much everything in every aspect. That’s what they wanted, they wanted to be above the private sector. As an employer you weren’t able to let an employee go unless you had a reason that fit the criteria of the law. Such a thing is going get different angles, I know. But there is the undeniable fact that owners prerogatives were undermined,  making it subjected to question the worth of having a property, where sovereignty is not fully so. And I’m just cherry picking here. They wanted to control the currency exchange: a terrible mistake. It takes a lot professional analysis to make the world understand that phenomenon. I don’t have the words. I was just a victim like every single nor high range officials, or friend of those, in Venezuela. And those are the ones I wanted to mention in the first place: those people have found the best money and power match at the cost of the nation. In other words, we lost the country to make those people rich. Now what we have left is our disposition for a job in another country and make ends meet with it. The morning is almost over.  It's raining.  It’s been raining for a couple of hours,  maybe.  Schedule is set. I’ll be on duty in the afternoon.  Let’s hope the rain to stop then. In the meantime,  I’m having my son here with me. He’s sleeping right over my chest. I remember when he fitted whole,  that was barely two years ago. Now his legs are out, his arms are out, and eventually, I’m not going to be big enough to have him this way, so I just enjoy it while I can. There is a kind of synchronicity between the fan spinning and his breathing.  I’m always getting those type of sounds like they were the music of the world, perhaps not the world; that sounds like too big. Let’s say that’s the music of the environment, the environment I’m surrounded by. There is a beat and I usually tend to get it. Sometimes I think that we are driven by it and the fact that we can listen to it is a proof we’re not entirely on our own, and that there might be a chance that someone is setting that up to make us function somehow. Some other times I think that it is just my obsession to find songs anywhere and everywhere. There are times in which I think it is a useless capability, but once in while I think it is going to be part of brighter future. Once in a while I think I’m not going to remain poor, and that the things I’ve learned and thought may be worth to pay for, so I can teach my son a sensitivity to understand the world from there, and not only from social media standards. The sound brings words, words that acquire a shape to become a message,  a message that comes up to share it, because we are here not only to do as told, but to create and explore, explore the untouchable and make up our own language out of it. Only that it is not happening now. I mean, it is happening, but in my head, and it says there; there and in these words. Most of the time I’ve got to go to work. In fact I’ll be working in two hours from now, so I’m helping my crazy thoughts not to vanish in the oblivion, by keeping them here and whoever decides to give them shelter while reading them if ever get to it. Thus I have space to worry about my situation and work hard to get through it.