Nineth Page

 

Time to leave. Only not yet. There’s a little bit more for some words, words of waiting, waiting without expecting, expecting without hoping, and hoping to serve me a glass of wine. See you tomorrow, but not just yet. Still Thursday, it’s raining hard. Toto is on TV, and it’s probably one of the few things technology has to offer: Music wherever and whenever we want; anything, any band we like. That’s something to rescue, to appreciate, and I do, I do appreciate it. Wine is gone, time to bed is right here, I’m just taking advantage of the moment alone and get some words for service. Elections here, elections there. I feel like I want to say something about it but I guess it doesn’t get me like it used to, it’s more like I just don’t care. I never got a choice, at least nor there, neither here, but here I am and stand, for my wife, for my mom, and specially for my boy. Dad is in my heart but he’s still there. I hope that time won’t be cruel with us this time. Specially now that the vulnerability has been getting some strength on our hearts, on our faith. We stand strong, still stoical; this is a storm, sun will come tomorrow, to shine, and make us hope for the best with will, will for doing more, doing what it takes, whatever we might need that for. Too much bread, too much flour, it never bothered me before. It’s just this hype that flour and gluten turn into sugar and that is poison for the body. I think sniping someone else’s lives is more poisoning. Comparing oneself with anyone else as reference for what we should or should not do is the real poison. I gain weight as I work out, it’s kind of simple: no work out, more weight, and we set that balance with each day that goes by. It’s up to us, nobody can work out for us. Don’t let the sun go down on me, yes, specially on vulnerable times. Sorry seems to be the hardest word, and perhaps mind your own business, the hardest advice…

 

Advice we get often. Many people love giving advice, especially when it comes from the voice within to sweet their ego, because to be honest, it’s rarely given on some attempt of sympathy, and I kind of get it. Advising has more to do with katharsis than with advice itself. We just need to project it to someone, make that someone a target of our inner voice and disguise it as a sort of care, but it’s not, not really, I mean, and it becomes necessary at some point. Immigrants need to project a lot, in every tense, mostly on past tense. Nobody wants to admit mistakes or, perhaps phrasing it differently; people often find in the action of giving advice a hidden confession of mistakes once made. Yes. I think it is that way. Friday, lazy Friday. I better get a coffee and get back to work too. Saturday afternoon. Cynicism over resentment, I was sort gravitating my thoughts. We must believe in something, someone; careful, it’s risky, I know, but we have to believe, we have to chose to believe, because otherwise we become cynical, and such a pose tends to reveal resentment in disguise. In Venezuela Chavez sold out the idea, in his signatured (I give him that) style, or way, that resentment came up as a consequence of a failed and corrupt system implemented for over forty years, and that’s why there were so many with no chance whatsoever. Chances never came for those people, to be honest, but the idea that those then in power might lose their status over a change of system, got many enchanted enough to transform a promise into disgrace, and the disgrace was the plan since the beginning. Only that we thought it was about verbiage and a matter of procedures, but they; the chavistas in power, they achieved their goal, systematically, and by steps of depth. Now the Venezuelan problem affects the whole continent, and only a few can ignore it. Here I go again, for a Saturday, for a sunny afternoon on a nap time. So back to the resentment, people thought it was fair, and the government made it look that way for perhaps almost ten years, enough time to convince a whole generation of it, then the resentment, once there, once among many, burst into what it has always been: a spoil born out of failure, a failure commonly confused with unjust. There are unjust cases, of course. A society, a social system will always have flaws, but their anger is not because the former system failed them, because they were outcasted from it, not, the anger is for not trying harder, because there was always someone preaching that hard was not fair, and fair was what we deserved. Nos we’re all fairly broken, and many decided to start over elsewhere, and back to the song: here I go again!

 

The war: how difficult is to understand why they come up in modern times. It used to be like, easier to get when it was about territory, power, siege, expansionism, but nowadays, I’m not sure. People claim so lightly that it is over resources, I kind of disagree, I mean, you can just buy them off, out, in perpetuity, all of it, however the case may be. They are all for sale, and it’s much cheaper just to do business rather than destroy a whole place to rebuild it again and take whatever resource you were looking for at first. I don’t think it works out that way anymore. I don’t think it’s about expansionism either, I mean, what’s the use of having more territory, taxes? Again, resources? Come on! It’s too expensive. It has to be something else, something unclear for the commoner, as many other never ever understandable phenomena of the human race. Music fades. Language barrier, that’s how it is called when you can’t make yourself understood. Halfway meeting again. I’m cool with that. Program Information Report. I should focus more on it. I’m about to, but my fingers need some dancing, and this keyboard is pretty much their dance floor. I should get a music keyword and learn how to play it, but I’m going to need a level of abstraction and concentration that right now are impossible to obtain, regardless of what’s within or outside, it won’t matter at this point. We’re getting into a state of splitable thinking and rearranged reasonings, and I’m afraid it will turn perpetual eventually. An empty room and a cell phone to simulate joy, wisdom and lifestyle. Followers of unapplicable opinions. See you soon!