First page

A fan spinning from the ceiling, making this iterated sound like clicking, like a metronome, yes, a metronome providing me with some tempo to place my thoughts in some memory. A summer day: hot weather, the air conditioning at its maximum, the sense in my skin in between, hot outside cold inside, I've felt it before: coming back to the hotel room from the beach, or to an aunt house from the street in Barcelona, not Spain. It’s good to be back, in my mind, I know. The pain is too real to forget it, but I’m allowed to long for a time when remembering, so why not writing it down, right? I can whisper, catch my breath, and close my eyes while sensing my son sleeping by my side. I feel inspired by him. That’s why I don’t want to get up yet.

This is my first attempt. I guess sometimes it will be in English and some others in Spanish. Should I have started long ago? Perhaps, but this procrastinating-evasive culture has got me, along with a lot of people, so immersed that we just feel bored about the idea of a long-term endeavor.

And another long-term endeavor is down as you see. Every time someone is excited at a new project in his life, this one just vanishes as scrolling down on those touch screens which keep us away from the previous feeling with all these so-called trends. Why do we follow trends in the first place? I understand that in some other time, people consumed what was available in the market through street announcements, old school publicity. Then advertisements had some power based on their influence. Anyone might state that it is still the same but I'm not fully sure, I mean, there's something further. Perhaps it is how I heard it once: if you are not purchasing the product, it’s because the product is you.

There is always something further when it comes to what we call appetite. These short-laugh-meant-to-be videos and images with which we fill up our daily perception, undermines, in a certain way, I guess, our disposition for a challenge. The word challenge itself has been changed from what is supposed to mean to us. Challenge appears not to be personal anymore. I mean, what's the point of recording yourself doing something a million more do as well? It fades with the traffic. It’s becoming in a single dot of one giant colorful flag. We could say it has always been that way, that it is so it, that perhaps this is where you find the reason why there are so many people sticking to the same choices, hoping to find that sort of abstract uniqueness through which many flatter themselves, but not in my head. I feel like I want more. I feel like wishing for a jump back in time for reading a book again at least.