el Café

Debería prepararme un café, pero si me levanto voy a perder las ganas, sí, es increíble; las ganas de hacer algo se pierden – las pierdo – con una facilidad envidiable para el emprendimiento, este último ya como una fantasía más bien: ¿existencialismo? ¡Cuándo no! La cosa es que, mientras pienso en ese café que al terminar estas líneas voy a prepararme, voy a tratar de dejar algo aquí.

Verán, tuve la sensación de que estas cosas podía hacerlas en inglés, en algún momento creí – todavía creo – que estos escritos podrían algún día adquirir algún valor, y lo más seguro es que sí, pero eso va a pasar dentro de unos cincuenta años quizás y, para aquel entonces, no sabemos si habrá tecnología sustentable, saben, dicen que a la tierra no le queda tanto tiempo, así que lo más seguro es que esto perezca antes de adquirir valor alguno.

Eso, no obstante, no me impide volver a escribir. Verán – de nuevo – ante la imposibilidad de generar ingresos, generamos – no sólo yo – más gastos;  y esta es quizás la motivación ulterior que quería para sentarme a escribir algo: en Venezuela este tema del dinero es muy raro, como muy raro es el tema ecológico tan abanderado por la izquierda, y como muy raro es también que el único supuesto negocio que hace próspera a la gente es incursionar en la política, con todo y lo cerrado que es, pero sin duda es lucrativo.

En Venezuela los políticos parecen estrellas de rock, y bueno, ante tantas carencias, es muy fácil darse cuenta de cómo les cambia la vida una vez que el dinero – para ellos – deja de ser un problema. Lo curioso es que es precisamente en nombre del problema – el dinero – que se vuelven populares y son aceptados en el imaginario colectivo de los ciudadanos.  Para darles una idea, Venezuela tiene una serie de leyes que determinan  el cómo, el cuándo y con qué fondos un político puede hacer campaña, lo cual sólo deja al partido de gobierno con tal posibilidad, ya que está prohibido el financiamiento desde el extranjero (en teoría) sin embargo eso nunca ha impedido que siempre emerja un retador desde las filas de la oposición, como les dije antes, en política, el dinero no parece ser problema, a pesar del reducido parque industrial y del cierre masivo de pequeñas y medianas empresas, en política, una vez más,  el dinero no parece ser un problema.

¿Dónde sí lo es? En los sueldos y salarios, ahí sí tenemos un problema.  Desde mediados de los ochenta – quizás desde antes, pero la evidencia estadística empieza a resaltar es desde hace unos treinta, treinta y cinco años a la fecha de estas líneas, más o menos – desde mediados de los ochenta al venezolano le han inculcado la búsqueda del estatus a través de la academia, por lo que ir a la universidad pasó a ser un paso obligado para la mayoría de los cuarentones y cincuentones de hoy en día, más que en otro rango de edad, de hecho, hubo un momento en el que un asalariado pudo, con su sueldo, pagar sus estudios universitarios nocturnos.  

Esto trajo sus consecuencias, porque tampoco es que era fácil, al menos para aquellos que no gozaron del apoyo económico familiar - y esto es clave para entender parte  del resentimiento que viven muchos venezolanos – por ende, el título universitario pasó a ser ese gran logro por el que una familia se enorgullecía de su prominente nuevo miembro profesional. Muchos buscaron eso, el título, tanto así que hasta surgieron corruptos que lo compraban, así que pueden imaginar lo importante que fue en una época. Basta ver cómo crecieron las universidades privadas hasta más o menos el dos mil diez, por ahí.

Hubo mucho roce y contraste, al menos conceptual y constructivo, ya que muchos salieron de la universidad como profesionales, ávidos por ocupar un buen puesto que les proporcionara ese sustento y esa calidad de vida por el que el esfuerzo de estudiar de noche – y de día; esfuerzo al fin y al cabo – valió la pena. 

Y aquí llegamos. A la fecha de publicación de estas líneas, el salario promedio de un profesional universitario apenas acaricia – en muy pocos lugares – los cien dólares americanos. En muchos lugares es incluso menos, mucho menos, hay gente que gana sólo diez dólares, por ejemplo.  

Ahora sí, el café…

Denial

Shall I get you another one? No. Maybe yes, but for me too. I can sit with you for a while, there are no more customers. Well, if you’re fine with it. Sure. What are you writing about? I’m just putting these thoughts on paper just not to forget them, you see, I’m always thinking of how things may be connected among each other, I believe there’s some kind of thread joining events for interpretation. Whose interpretations, ours, for example? Perhaps but I think events are more like: served for feelings; it’s like sensing. Don’t you think it might be just chance? Sure, but chance doesn’t work all the time for everyone; some people’s chances could be some other’s facts or logic consequences. For instance? You open this café everyday and expect customers, you are not leaving at least until I’m gone, I came here for a coffee and now we’re talking; you see, for me this is chance, but for you it’s a logic consequence: this is the first time I’m having a conversation with you but sure it’s not the first time you have a word with a customer. Well, it’s getting more common every time, few people are coming. Let’s hope it won’t get any worse. Please.

Tell me more about your thoughts, how they’re served? Most of them are built because of a feeling, so let’s say you’re not thinking until you put a feeling on it. I’m not following. You are indeed, what you are is unsure how to feel about it. It sounds weird to you, I may be even weirder but you’re not certain and there’s a part of you kind of interested, so you’re not thinking about it, you’re processing it and only after that you’re going to put a feeling on it, and that will be when you think: either I’m a waste of time or this is perhaps more interesting than it looks. It is more complex for sure. Of course, but it’s amusing to realize that almost every information we believe we think it is not so, that it is more the result of a feeling embracing such information and, base on that, we take part of something like: going or not to vote next elections, so we are not going to choose really, especially those who are not going to vote. In the time of our parents youth most of the info used to be gathered by newspapers; there were these sections that actually separated the news and in many cases, people then not always processed it along with a feeling, at least not like we do now. It could be so, but I also think (yes, think) that feelings could come up because of the anxiety the current situation has been pushing us all though. True, and anxiety is also, or least in my perspective, a feeling. Let me tell you something crazy, so you can actually think about it that way: you asked me what I was writing about. I think (based on a feeling) that the actual staff of the high government want to resign, they just don’t want to do it with the actual opposition, so that’s why we’re having these candidates and yes, the guy who used to stand for them will win, and a transition will start by the end of the year. What about the constituent assembly? Their job is to write a new constitution; a new one that allows them enjoy what they’ve made so far. I think you’re crazy. I know, but I really wanted to write it and now I’m posting it. Thanks for the coffee.

don’t you remember?

A sleepy morning. Slow movements for daily things; drinking water included. Some thoughts come around and wondering begins… 

We used to speak of human behavior, we used to amuse ourselves with the argument of self-multiplicity: the one that implies there are several us we carry within, and those us: any day; anyhow, can do some kind of reckoning and establish positions. So one day we may wake up feeling peaceful even in our worst moment, and we may feel right by feeling wrong at it. We may not accept it, there could be a new reckoning, or not, or yes and it will happen again and again until we lose our minds (and ourselves) and become crazier… or wiser. The thing is, I long for those talks. We became busy and not because of our jobs, we still do the same we started about ten years ago; boring, yes, and it never got better, but we had time, time for talking, imagining, wondering ourselves (like I said) and each other (like you used to) 

It was about five years ago. I stored some articles for a later reading. We chatted about them a while. I remember it was about five years ago because I was just, let’s say, cleaning the drawer I’m now selling (and hoping to sell it soon) when I’ve found the articles. I remember I was going to buy Harina PAN that day; it was something new, lots of opinions facing each other: people in the city could buy only two packs per week and depending on the last number of your cédula, Thursdays in my case. Some people saw it as the entrance of communism here, but it’s always a debate. There are those who think this began with Chávez, others claim it began even before him and many others point Maduro as the big responsible, but the thing is either who it was it to blame, the situation became worse for almost everyone. 

I waited on a line for almost four hours. I saw two women fighting because (let’s see if I can make myself understood) one of them tried unsuccessfully to usurp the other one’s place in the line by doing one of the many tricks there are for, which was in this case: I was already here, don’t you remember? [I think it’s important to understand that when I write usurp I don’t mean that the woman already in the line were removed, not. When I say usurp it means that the other woman deceived the rest of the people already there by lying about her presence in it]And of course that made the other woman angry, but not always a person is willing to fight a usurper for that, some people just get numb at the fact there can be someone getting inside the line by doing such a thing (we have a verb for expressing this an action and it is called colearse, but colearse might be confusing if the Spanish interpreter is not a Venezuelan one, this is the problem with our beautiful language, so I just hope you get the picture of what I’m telling here) I for example get very angry but I won’t start a fight for it, and it always happens. It gets more maddening with the waiting and if this waiting is outdoors, people get heat… which means angrier. It could also rain, but at last I got my two packs of our classical corn flour. 

Lines have spread throughout the city, the country. There were few things one could buy without waiting hours on them. It got worse when the riots started and everything we´ve said to each other was about that. I remember we started arguing because we kind of liked to foresee what it could happen next and we both wanted our argument to prevail. 

We both got wrong, short, next never stopped being now and, as now, it’s been cruel. There came a time in which we couldn’t buy us a drink like we used to. We changed it for coffee and sooner than we thought it got unaffordable too. We’ve been texting ever since. You´ve always sent me drugstores where I can find some pills and I’ve tried always sending you supermarkets where some products could be found. Now we just take one another for insulting, to then ask for an apology, to then laugh, to then remember… like I am doing now. I’m getting rid of all these papers, these articles, they’re making me sneeze too much and I still have to clean the drawer…

Making it happen

North Korea has had elections all this time. We’ve had them too, next ones will be on April 22^nd. There were many who waited for a final agreement but it seems it won’t be such after all, at least there wasn’t yesterday. Some were hoping for a peaceful resolution and some others just salivated for what it was. After few hours from the announcement, another one and already rehearsed was broadcasted: the election date. Today, we’re breathing through confusion: is it the fact that the opposition have refused signing the agreement, a stronger possible refreshed coalition? Will they postulate a candidate? Will such be picked from a consensus? What will they tell the people? This is in case they decide to go in spite of all this lack of warranties from doing so. On the other hand, there’s this sort of alliance who lobbies abroad for support, actually it looks it’s working, at least that’s the impression we get from social network. Will it be so? Perhaps but I’m personally hearing some other claims on the streets…

The president has just founded a new political party, just as Chavez did. Becoming a politician of the twenty first century is a matter of stage performance, at least we’re getting used to it; unfortunately. A candidate won’t debate (we’ve never seen it, not someone younger than forty as I recall) A candidate will tell jokes (and sadly that’s where truths, if there’s any, may come from) will dance (despite of our sadness) will get fat (in front of the hunger) will become rich (in the faces of the poor) and all in the name of progress, peace and revolution. Our tropical version of Orwell’s Big Brother…

Some opposition parties were excluded from the electoral card; let’s say they’re not fulfilling the requirements of rigor, only if the president does: everything is possible at his desire, except the welfare of the Venezuelans and this is the reason I’m putting some words here: the people on the streets are so used to the crisis and so used to the president, that they’re just hoping for the best and expecting the worst… and it doesn’t mean they’re supporting him, they just can’t come up with something else despite the voices of twitter. I read an article which title was something like how to annul a person: and how is it done? with crumbs, crumbs of healthcare, crumbs of food supply, crumbs of entertaining, crumbs of jobs, crumbs of persona, crumbs of thinking through an ideology, new meaning for old words, new words also, new terms as to speak. They are many… but not all. There’re also people who work more, think more, and struggles as hard as they can just not to succumb before the promises and speeches of the president, his people, and politicians in general… and these are the people who are not just hoping… but making it happen.