Second page IV

 

A busy Monday morning. How much from habits we convey to what we feel? To what we claim we feel? How strong is this we’re hoping that we don’t take it as just routine? Can we tell the difference? I confuse them more often that I admit it. It just occurs to me that one must follow the other one: I came here hoping, and  eventually I keep pushing as habit. I guess I remain a believer as a habit too. Evidence places my thoughts inside a void and I navigate from there, wondering, and understanding,  or getting, getting that this sadness could be some sort of Stop corner, from where you start over after trying to assimilate why you did what you’ve done. What have I done? How do we talk nowadays? Someone comes in during a Venezuelans' reunion. Who do you meet there? There will be always that political enthusiast who sees himself as a chairman if there were no dictatorship in the country. Obviously,  that person belongs to the ones who claim never voted for Chávez, and of course, he wouldn't let go unnoticed his pride at it in the same way that his judgmental attitude towards those who did.  You'll meet all kinds of college people, which is an interesting thing to bring up (and break down if possible) they will talk to you about how life was from their profession in a country allegedly prosperous in so many ways.

So many ways indeed. I listen to some of the music bands from Venezuela and you can find great pieces; great artists. If we take a closer look at the past, it wasn't so bad, after all.  We could say everything started to fall apart with the rise of he first government that came with the internet revolution.  I want to call it that way because it was with the use of internet that came this need for access in the palm of  the hand. Cell phone existed before that, so the Walkman and the palm computer, but they were not so eager to put them all in one device then. I believe that it didn't happen because creators then didn't feel like usurping moments proper from each activity.  I mean, who would want to interrupt the guitar solo of Comfortably numb to attend a phone call, or read a text message? The other thing that evolved in a very interesting way is the picture shut. I mean, this impulse for taking selfies and post them like it was something people needed to see, which it seems in fact that people do, and on top of that, the need for commenting about them as a significant duty. Even with the digital cameras on the market,  people tried more to capture a memory than showing a routine. I wonder if it has something to do with how people are interacting nowadays. The younger ones have developed this skill of being (being is so interesting in English language) on the screen of the phone, and at the same time, in a actual conversation beyond the phone,  switching from one to the other at their convenience. We, the ones in our forties, have been trying it in an attempt, I think, to still be cool, but it looks rude, awful. It doesn’t matter how hard and often we try that. The best we can do is put down the phone and look each other’s eyes when talking. 

Being. Spanish language breaks it in two different momentums: for a Spanish native speaker, to be something for a instance, for short period, or for lifetime, not always come with the same verb; to be loyal and to be tired don’t use the same “to be”. In other words; being where and being what are two different verbs in Spanish. The presence determines the existence. How do we understand presence? College people.  Does it mean the same everywhere we go? I know its worth varies from place to place. I found out that your worth as professional tends go rated by the potential connections you  may carry with when you get to be in the field. You can tell it when you have already spent years of study and time working as an apprentice. You realize you are not going to be as wealthy as you imagined when you have already given your best years of youth, and those years won't pay back. To some, it might happen that they fall in love during the process, so they graduate actually loving what they are going to do in their career.  Others were just raised believing that a major degree will change their income. To those, it is hard, and to this point, all that people want their revenge. Everyone is bitter up enough to star wondering of other people's life. Social Media creators got the perfect audience; the perfect population of content consumers: People who  relate jobs with failure because they don't love what they do as it were something everyone gets. But it can be worse, there are people who lie themselves by the affirmation of loving a job they don't only because of the trends that rule the mediaverse. Thinking is also deconstructed. The block chain of thoughts. Back to college. In my country, having a degree it's not only something for salary expectations. It is more like a status. In public administration, people call each other by the degree they have but it's not just something to point out: You sort of feel distinguished from those who don't have it. If you go to what it’s called "the country", meaning, not in the city, which it's funny, and pertinent, at the same time when joking about it, because despite of what I may be trying here, Venezuela kind of have just one city, which is Caracas. And yes, sorry for the rest but Caracas is the only metropolis. The other cities are more like towns that have grown with the years. Some of them great thanks to tourism or industry, but when you get to talk to someone who's not from Caracas,  you will definitely get what I say with this attempt. Of course that those people kind of get offended for this type of distinction, and yet, what can I say? I am from Caracas and spent a couple of years in El Tigre. I could say I know what I'm talking about.